A Long Year Behind Me: My Head and My Heart But Not My Hands is in Art

About a one year hiatus from the blog.  I haven't anguished over the blog contributions necessarily but I sense that I must have missed many opportunities for personal growth and insight as a result of not contributing to it. Many missed moments of failing to study, investigate, ponder, and share within the context of the daily contributions and doing art routinely. To some degree, I have lost myself and my way along the path I intended. But it has been a year of Duty. A return to Duty. And long hours to stay on watch and station. Sometimes with duty and responsibility one can get caught up and lose the sense of self within. A triggering event and a moment of epiphany can re-instill a need to return to core values and activities. I have the sense that my Mission is accomplished in my present assignment. It is time to return to the Mission stated in "Impressions from Idle Acres" in a new phoenix.

Imperatives and ideas and wishes have been building but not acted upon explicitly. A resetting of priorities may be required to re-calibrate to the Original Outlook. A redirecting of Life Force and Energy is coming. It comes from the still, small Inner Voice whispering its guidance.

There are two images to share today that reflect my feelings after this year's hiatus from Impressions and may portend the future as well.  "Winter's Discontent" depicts a solitary, dried corn husk amidst other fallen fruitless stalks located in an urban, curbside garden.

Original Photo: "Winters Discontent", Copyright James E. Martin 2014

The garden from which "Winter's Discontent" is taken seemed to be a feeble, half-hearted, but well-meaning attempt at balancing the modern life with a semblance of one of the basic values tantamount to the human endeavor. Growing one's own food is a basic value but, in this case, not in a quantity sufficient for annual survival and sustenance. This garden was a fleeting, false gesture. Perhaps it made one person feel good about their personal endeavor and there was some enjoyment of it. The photo was taken on an extremely frigid day with temperatures so low that it was startling to go outside and painful to remain outside. Taking the picture was awkward with bare hands to the camera controls. The depiction is after the fruitful harvest season of green, verdant opportunity in sunshine and rain and depicts the leftover remnants that remain in the cold, frigid season of days gone by. The opportunity for growth and nourishment is now past. Any kernels of well-being that remain are suitable for birds and field mice. If a new crop is to be sought, a new season and a new seeding is imperative. The Spring season of refreshing is near.

The second image is of "Winter's Urban Sunset" in the proximity of the garden and provides the feeling associated with the most recent leg of Duty's journey.

Original Photo: "Winter's Urban Sunset", Copyright James E. Martin 2014

Again, the setting of an old day in the urban environment with only the hint of a new dawn in the near term. The colors and layout of the sunset are captivating but only for a moment's enjoyment. Change is ever present and the enjoyable beautiful moment of Impression is momentary. The time is not yet here to know where the dawn will be seen from or what it will look like. And it will have to appear on a different horizon. One must turnaround in an opposite direction to see the dawn after the sunset.

My thought is to start a new blog with a new look that continues this self-taught artist's journey from "Idle Acres". Perhaps "Impressionism from the Journeyman" seems appropriate. This morning I hobble up and shakily move forward but with some measure of internal mental determination, perseverance, and fortitude. The Daily Walk continues.

The Drawing Saga Continues: First Self-Portrait

A self-portrait must be obligatory at some point in the Artistic Endeavor. I do not recall ever having completed one. Until now. So this is a first. The first shared anyway. The first that may have some likeness to the artist. Because I did seven other notebook sketches from various source photos resulting in relative failures and non-likenesses to get to this artifact. Again, some of them are laughable.

The source photo is from 2009. I won't share the photo at this time since there may be other representations I want to spin off from the source photo eventually. The journey and the challenge continues.

Original Drawing: Artist Likeness - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

Continuing to Draw: First Likeness

My first objective in my Daily Drawing exercises has been to aim towards a "likeness". I fail frequently. Some of the efforts are laughable.

I surmise that one of the most difficult aspects of drawing or painting is to have the ability to "fashion a likeness" of an object, a place, or especially a person. A likeness would then represent a similarity, a familiarity, and the spirit and essence of the person, place, or thing. Out of the first 33 sketches in my notebook, only about 3-4 are rated by me as having a "likeness" to the model. I find it particularly difficult with respect to people and portraits. So further practice in observation and representation is required. In some cases, I am practicing the same model in the same pose and expression several times, evaluating each time what needs to be improved to move closer to a likeness.

The following representation is of my artist friend enjoying the lake in Maine. He's a real saint to mentor me in my artistic endeavor. I will never forget his example and his commitment to the creative pursuit. Saints are also forgiving and I need a lot of mercy in this journey.

Original Photo: Irish Saint - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

Original Drawing: Irish Saint - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

It took me two different sketches to get it to a point where I thought it was a likeness. This is my first likeness. Thanks Bob. What character there is in this model!

Commencing to Draw: Maine Lobster

It seems to me that I have been drawing most of my life to represent ideas, designs, and to communicate but the emphasis has always been more on a practical planning and implementation of an engineering or building project not with an artistic imperative of an object with a view towards any permanence or retention of the artifact. Over the last few months I have been emphasizing artistic Daily Sketching in a drawing notebook. There is much room for improvement in many ways but I hope to build my skills by practice. Drawing notebooks may have many different purposes. They may be private or shared, places for notional ideas or intended as finished artwork in and of themselves. From my perspective, they are chronological journals of ideas, and a venue to build skill, ability, and expertise in observation and representation. If I see something that I like and want to record, I pull out the sketching tools.

One of the first drawings I am willing to share.....

Original Drawing: Summer Lobster - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

No. 1: Positive Beats Negative: Unique Potential - Art is Like a Pair of Jumper Cables

Today is Sunday. Traditionally for some, a day of reflection and introspection about who one is in the realm of larger things.  And so it is for me today. A listening to the Inner Voice.

The Journey of Completing 120 Paintings to learn about the Artistic Endeavor and the Creative Pursuit starts with the first painting, Number 1. I am going to suggest that I completed that first painting four months ago.

Herein are two energetic tales connected four months apart. In this exposition, the end comes before the beginning. I shall entitle the first tale "The End" as you, dear Reader, shall soon discover why.

The End. On March 14 of this year, my wife was working late at the office. When she went out to start her vehicle to return home for a late dinner, the battery was dead. She noticed that an interior dome light may have been left on for a protracted period, perhaps even due to the daytime play of our beloved five-year-old daughter who enjoys pretending play in the car in the driveway at home with open windows and her dollies placed and buckled in the carseats. My wife ruminated that was the cause. She called me and I ventured downtown to offer an assisted start with well-known black-and-red jumper cables. We were able to get her home for a late dinner in a fairly straightforward manner.

After use, I placed the cables on the front passenger seat of my vehicle. The next morning, when I transported my very observant five-year-old daughter to day care, she noticed the cables and asked "What are those, Daddy, Chomper Cables?" That expostulation tickled my fancy! But where did that come from? 

I surmise that she had heard her parent's phone conversation the night prior and not knowing the details of the event in her innocence, had kept her quiet repose at the time but had attached some thwarted meaning to partially heard words with which she had no prior experience. She held any commentary in reserve at the time. When she was able to visibly see the cables the next morning, however, it all came together for her. Her memory of the conversation was immediately assisted by the now visible objects draped over the seat in front of her declaring their ferocity with copper teeth and she was able to attach her word label to the event. See for yourself. The interface clamps ARE armed to the teeth in an anthropomorphic sense. Jumper cables. Chomper cables. I get it.  ;o)

Original Photo: Chomper Cables - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

In March 2012, I was attempting to move towards understanding the discipline and effort required for a Daily Painting initiative. No small feat amidst a busy schedule of multi-tasking and numerous projects on my To Do list. The above-mentioned photo was a still life arranged by me after the comic event to instill some artistic meaning to those recently humorous anecdotes into otherwise mundane objects utilized in our daily lives. One of the genres I have noticed about the Daily Painting initiative is that the artists may select objects or scenes from their daily lives to practice their skills, approach, or develop a style. The genre clearly and concretely illustrates their Creative Pursuit while expositing the stories and script of their world perspective, their life's Journey and therefore their Artistic Endeavor.

Original Painting: Chomper Cables - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

It was a different experience for me as well to document this rather simple anecdote and potential memory in this manner. As the Reader will note in my now re-constituted blog history, I stopped my daily art blog entries two days later on March 16 and, at the time as I thought best, removed the history from the web. Too much going on at the time with some critical events that required my complete focus and attention. Art was laid aside. The blog was laid aside. Perhaps as a permanent decision. It was a sad day for me. "Chomper Cables" was my last painting in my first 90-day period of ramping up to an un-declared Daily Painting initiative. It was my end. So now, dear Reader, we shall return to the the second related tale.

The Beginning. I have been thinking recently about re-starting my art journey with some trepidations. I intend to re-frame the next part of my artistic journey by declaring to myself to paint 120 paintings to pattern my progress in a new phoenix. Of course, it's obvious that the declaration is now shared and is not at all a private one. The saga continues.

Last week offered mid-summer seasonal hot weather and high humidity. As I was dropping my young daughter off at day care, I returned to my vehicle and it groaned a bit at start-up. I got it back home to the driveway in prompt recognition of the matter and attempted two more ignition starts in a safe haven and it failed to turn over at the second try. I needed a new battery.

My dear wife had been up late at home and again early with work-related endeavors, and we agreed that I would use her vehicle that day to share a breakfast at a local restaurant, and I would drop her off at work and use her vehicle to settle my battery replacement endeavor. Sounded like a great plan. Later, I proceeded to a well-known department store to acquire a battery but they no longer carried the items in inventory. Darn. I left the store to proceed to another well-known department store that surely must have the desired item. Unfortunately, my wife's vehicle failed to turnover at start-up in the parking lot heat with what seemed to be a dead battery. No pre-indicating symptoms! Just a clicking of the solenoid. Yikes. Two vehicles down and now far from home.

I purchased a 350-amp quick starter from the department store hoping it might just offer enough margin to get me going. No such luck. Requires 48-hours of charging to enable effective use as per nominal warnings and instructions. Rather than call emergency roadside service, which by the way we have, and wait for an indeterminable time period for rescue in the heat, I decided on a Plan B to walk the perceived considerable distance to a known battery store, lug the battery home, and at least get my first vehicle going. I could return later to revive the second vehicle.

As I started out on my journey homeward in late morning, admitting to myself that I didn't really have any otherwise truly urgent business to attend to or to re-schedule and could work this solution at my discretion, lo and behold, there was an unanticipated battery and tire store in the proximal area. Returning to Plan A to get her vehicle restored, I purchased a battery for my wife's vehicle, borrowed some jumper cables from the friendly store manager, and proceeded back to my wife's vehicle in a rather short stroll to execute a jump start without changing out the battery per se. It didn't work. I tried everything, checked my assumptions, and then tried it again. I went into the department store and bought a couple of tools to change out the battery, surmising that perhaps the cable interfaces needed cleaning. I switched out the batteries to no avail. The vehicle wouldn't start. Could I possible have an even worse and more expensive problem with her vehicle? Although it crossed my mind that the new battery might be defective, I concluded that it was a quite remote probability. But the clicking solenoid and general car symptoms were sure acting like a weak battery. I called my reliable car mechanic to see if there was anything I wasn't thinking about. He affirmed that I appeared to be covering all the possibilities.

I decided to return to Plan B and get my vehicle at home repaired. I set out to walk the journey in the heat, taking some water bottles with me, and called a neighbor for a possible transportation assist to pick me up, purchase a new battery, and get me home to switch it out. The neighbor was able to assist after a food shopping maneuver and eliminated a long potential walk for me with some of it lugging a heavy battery. I revived my car late afternoon and returned to revive my wife's vehicle in early evening. My vehicle promptly jump-started her vehicle with our reliable chomper cables.

Yikes! I had been given a potentially defective new battery. What are the chances of that? What are the chances of three bad batteries, one of them brand spanking new, in the same morning? After starting my wife's vehicle, I returned the defective battery, had it tested, pronounced defective by competent authorities and calibrated measurement devices, then replaced the unit, and all was back to normal with two now operating vehicles after a long day's endeavor.

The Moral of the Stories. Of course, dear Reader, this a somewhat round-about long story of two interconnected, jumpered tales to get to the moral. You have been so patient with me to get this far in the stories. My last completed painting was four months ago of a pair of "chomper" cables where "Positive Overcomes Negative". I deliberately and literally put away the paints and supplies. Four months later, I started thinking about reviving my commitment to the art blog and Daily Painting activity, and I encountered three dead batteries in one day!  The chomper cables were involved but weren't the main character in the second story. The tale of "A Defective Energy Source" is one of remote probabilities not daily occurrences.

Perhaps the morals of the stories are tried and true. (A) "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."; (B) "Check your assumptions and run them to Ground [pun intended]"; (C) "Carry emergency and rescue equipment with you"; (D) "Don't Ever Give Up the Ship"; (E) "A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed".

But all in all, I would like to think that Painting Number 1: "Positive Beats Negative" is where I would prefer to start my "120 paintings" journey of discovery. It is therefore an Alpha. But it is also an Omega. It is where I left off "Once Upon a Time...." [and all good stories start that way...].

I am not yet ready to declare for myself that the Artistic Endeavor and the Creative Pursuit are my sole reliable energy sources. To be realistic, I think that assertion would be a potential defect in my overall energy commitments and understandings at this time. But I have concluded that Art is a jumper cable in my life's path. It is a very important part of how I see the world around me and is part of that perspective. It connects the energy sources that I tap into and that I have relied upon and keeps the energy flowing among the necessary imperatives. And it is therefore required in my vehicles. And I have concluded that Art, in the form of the Artistic Endeavor and the Creative Pursuit, needs to be ready, available, used frequently, displayed, talked about, drawn, painted, and represented as a part of myself in my Daily Walk and in my Life's Journey. No. 1: "Positive beats Negative" is part of my Unique Potential. Now that's a decent moral to the stories. The moral is "Art is like a pair of Jumper [Chomper] Cables". It helps definitize one aspect of Unique Potential. Who would have guessed that I would learn these things over four months after painting a fairly mundane, straight-forward, serendipitous painting? And that I needed to deliberately lay Art aside for a time to find that I could not Leave It Be unless I would deny Self. Not me, to have planned these things, please be assured.

The journey of 120 paintings begins. My eyes are wide open and my ears unstopped. My legs are a bit weary and unstable but I will put one foot in front of the other. My heart and mind are in it. I am "chomping" at the bit. Ouch.

Marooned: A Solitary Pursuit

Once marooned, now what?

I don't believe that anyone ever really plans on being marooned on an island. I guess I have to take that back......the television show Survivor is a modern day exception. You can plan it and have it paid for and sign a contract for it. That's entertainment.

Two of my favorite stories are Robinson Crusoe and Swiss Family Robinson. I have read them again and again throughout my life. The story lines are similar: shipwrecked, survival, self-reliance, accommodation to newfound circumstances, meeting challenges in a strange land, social obscurity, attaining quality of life, eventual prosperity of sorts, rescue, and plausible return to society.

Speaking of shipwrecks, survival, and living one's life in a new direction,  it has been said that one must paint 120 paintings to learn anything about painting. An interesting thesis to pursue. I am leaning in the direction of that endeavor. Yesterday and this morning, I cut (100) 6" x 6" hardboard canvases and (64) 8" x 8" hardboard canvases. Each of them will be painted with an acrylic backing color. I am going to vary the colors among the boards for visual effect in selection.

More than any other time, this Artistic Endeavor feels empty, alone, and solitary. It does not have to be so, I know. There are many others who have found a more social path along which to explore their artistic journey. But this is where I am today and how I feel.

Original Photo: Moosehead Lake Island in Maine - Copyright James E. Martin 2011

Islands have a peculiar fascination for me.

A New Dawn: A Quiet Stillness in the Morning

Each day IS a new day.

Perhaps its true that to start a journey on a new path, first, one turns, then, one takes a step at a time in a new direction. Initially, the view isn't any different, but perhaps eventually, the perspective is different, the venue is altered, and a new horizon appears. And along the way, new feelings replace the old memories.

Here's to the dawn of a new day. It usually starts out quiet. This feels like learning to walk again.

Original Photo: Dawn of a New Day - Copyright James E. Martin 2012

Torn Between Two Things: The Struggle Continues

Once Upon a Time.... [all good stories start this way], I saw a movie, the title of which I completely forget. Only one line in the movie was memorable to me.  While seated in a convertible, a man and a woman are discussing life-changing events that effect each other and the line is: "I will always be torn between two things....like living in the country and living in the city....."  And that phrase has stuck with me ever since. It is suitable to build a novel around.

So today, dear Readers, I re-posted the first 90 days of blog entries [which were previously removed] as a way of re-entering the blog world. There is a large part of me that is reticent to do so in that I am aware of the commitment and follow-through required to sustain the blog effort in continuing to build and share. There is a part of me that says so to do. I recently perused the book "14000 things to be happy about" by Barbara Ann Kipfer and found that many of the items I rated as satisfying from her given list had to do with creativity associated with visual art. But I am having difficulty verbalizing the level of commitment I am willing to make in the near term. It is very much about who I am and/or who I am to become. Torn. A struggle.

Since this blog is a visual arts venue, I feel compelled to provide a somewhat suitable graphic to depict my feelings. This one comes to mind. And I don't have time to paint it in a timely manner to blog it promptly so the photograph must suffice for the moment.

Original Photo: Moonlight Motorboat in Maine - Copyright James E. Martin 2009 

I thank you, dear Readers, for your forbearance.

Tabula Rasa: The Empty Slate

There are moments when I wish I could start with a clean slate. But we are all "anchored" in who we have been in the past and who we are today.  I banter with others about how it may be OK to have "issues" but perhaps not let it be "baggage". Hah-hah. Everyone has issues but only some people have baggage that they might otherwise ship overboard so as not to lose forward momentum and progress or to even get underway.

So today I thought about re-starting the art blog. My Artistic Endeavor has retreated to the bare minimum of reading about art and random sketches when I get really itching to do something. I have been little pleased with the results other than that I am attempting to maintain some level of activity.

In my mind, I have Illusions of Grandeur.

Setting Expectations Towards Renewal: 120 Paintings

Jeff Mahoney, a member of the Daily Painting initiative, has a great website that chronicles the progression of his early art. One of the Larry Seiler Lessons Learned, that Jeff embodies, and that he has chronicled in his blog, is that one has to complete 120 paintings to know anything about painting. I will be taking that observation to heart as I move forward.

What is Art? When Does the Artistic Endeavor Begin?

Drawn in September 2010 one month after yesterday's entry, Number Three Daughter provides further three-year-old Expressionism as depicted below. To my knowledge, she was not using any particular real world object to represent but this came from within her imagination. I marvel that this is a part of her still, small Inner Voice at the moment of the design and creation. Her rendition makes me think of Matisse due to the expressive simplified curves and the riotous Fauvian color. As her Dad, I was impressed with her unprompted ability to fill the entire canvas with at least two types of methodology - the curves and the color patches.....which was a milestone for her as well and one of the reasons why this work was retained by me. I call this original artifact Souvenir of Matisse (2010) but, of course, I am merely an admiring father. It makes me think of a clump of Bananas at rest on a surface. She continued to utilize the extended curves as a design motif for the next few months in more than one artistic session without referencing prior efforts which I found remarkable. When recently asked at five years old, she did not have any recollection of the subject matter or the representation at the time of creation two years ago.

Original Art: Souvenir of Matisse - Copyright James E. Martin 2010

Based on the Concept Attainment model proposed in yesterday's entry, there appears to be evidence of  Sensation, Attention, and Perception in Daughter's rendition at the time of creation but apparently the Labeling, Meaning, or Emotion for this particular effort may not have been explicitly retained in her longer term memory.

So, dear Reader, when does the Artistic Endeavor and the Creative Pursuit begin? What is the difference between an Artist and Not-An-Artist? When do we start on the path to achieving our Unique Potential along Life's Journey? Do we require an Audience for our Art? Are Teachers, Critics, and Reviewers required? Is an Original Artifact required? Is it necessary for the Artifact to be retained for posterity? Or Publication? Or Gallery Showings? Or world-wide Distribution? Is Self-awareness and Self-assertion of the Artistic Endeavor required? Is Commitment necessary? Is a Declaration of Intent required? Is Instruction required? To what degree is there evidence of Artistic Insight, Artistic Formulation, and Artistic Expression in the piece shown? These are apparently controversial matters in the affairs of mankind.

Concept Attainment: A Model to Understand Abstraction

My Number Three Daughter produced this piece on corrugated stock, I call it, Souvenir of Cezanne (2010), in August of that year when she was three years old. I recently asked her at age five if she recalled doing the work and she did not. Of course, proud Dad's are prone to this sort of collecting, naming, and labeling behavior. For me, it reminds me of Cezanne's splash of color in flat blocks without significant shape modeling or shadows. As I recall, this was one of the first efforts if not the first piece whereby she covered the entire surface with color leaving no gaps. I recognized that as a milestone for her development and retained the piece because of that. So why do I show this today?

Original Art: Souvenir of Cezanne Copyright James E. Martin 2010

There are attributes in Daughter's painting that make me think of Cezanne. There is Conceptual Similarity based on my experience and perception. And yet, her rendition is nothing like Cezanne.

I submit the following model of Hierarchy of Concept Development and Attainment to show some of the cognitive and emotive machinations we go through to identify and learn new concepts and how we differentiate concepts with intention to Explore and Innovate. It has been useful to me in the Realm of Art:

• Sensation  (Sight, Hearing, Taste, Touch, Smell, Proprioceptive)
• Attention (Focus on some things not others)
• Perception (Assigning meaning to what we sense; Patterns; Correlate to memory)
• Imagery (Develop an internal construct image in memory based on the external object)
• Labeling (Assign a name and taxonomy for the internal and external objects)
• Emotional Attribution (Assign emotional meaning to internal and external objects, i.e. like or dislike, trust or distrust, etc.)
• Concept Formation (Develop a higher level complex object with numerous attributes based on exemplars and non-exemplars)
• Concept Differentiation (Distinguish one concept from another based on comparisons of similar and dissimilar attributes)
• Abstraction (Develop a superceding, generalized, simpler model, a de-construction, or partial exemplar of a concept by adding or removing selected rules or attributes)

The reason I mention this Hierarchy today is because I am experimenting with some Formulations and methods generated from Impressionistic methods that appear Abstract in appearance. It is an unintentional and unplanned effect to get into Abstract appearances. This Hierarchy model can help the Reader evaluate what they are looking at when seeing new art or evaluating an Artist with a different look and feel to their Artifacts -What attributes do you see? What do you focus on? What does it mean to you based on your experiences? What other things does it remind you of?  What would you call it?  How do you feel about it? How is it the same or different from other things you have seen or experienced? How far out beyond your own experience is it? This is new territory for me to be delving into Abstract Art but I have an objective in sight and reason for conducting these experiments.  More to follow, Dear Reader.

A Beginning: And Its Not Just About Art

A complete stranger has inspired me to begin a web log based on their blog. Today. At this moment. Thank you, stranger. Maybe we will become friends.

Perhaps life is somewhat like a once empty room. We are given the room....and we furnish it with our personal and professional achievements on a daily basis along the way. By chance, by serendipity, or by deliberate design intent, we conduct our life through occupation and craft, execute an Apprenticeship, mature our skills as a Journeyman, and, at some point, move along the path to Master.

We "paint" our Studies, our Works-In-Progress and our Masterpieces along the way and place them on our walls. Our works define us....who we have been, who we are now, and who we will someday become. 

Are the works occupational, avocational, or recreational? What is the lasting value of one's life work and oeuvre? Many travel their path and are lost to obscurity. There are many starving artists. Where do we go from here? Are we to change the world and in what manner?
I think I am going to redecorate my room. And start some new Art.
Managing a blog is only a small side trip on the way to endeavoring the longer journey.....like traversing a small cul-de-sac. Keep the end destination in sight and don't get caught up in a round-about do-loop side trip.